Doing vs. Becoming
- Mel
- Jan 23
- 3 min read
Hello friend,
If you’re like most founders and professionals I know, the year probably started with a list.
Deliverables.
Targets.
Strategic priorities.
Things that must get done.
To-do lists aren’t the problem — they’re necessary.
But here’s a question we rarely pause long enough to ask:
Who are you becoming while you’re doing all of this?
Because output can grow faster than character — and eventually, that gap costs us.
1️⃣ Doing vs. Becoming
Our culture rewards speed, scale, and visible success.
God, on the other hand, is deeply invested in formation.
Scripture frames transformation as the real work beneath all our work:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2
Research echoes this truth in modern language.
Studies in leadership psychology show that long-term effectiveness isn’t driven only by competence or intelligence, but by self-awareness, emotional regulation, integrity, and values alignment (Goleman, Harvard Business Review).
In other words:
Doing focuses on results
Becoming shapes the person producing those results
You can scale a business, lead a team, or build an institution —
and still quietly drift away from the kind of leader you intended to be.
2️⃣ Three questions to discern who you’re becoming
When you read in Scripture about the story of Nehemiah, what stands out isn’t just the wall that was rebuilt — but the leader who was being formed.
Before any visible success, Nehemiah:
paused before acting
prayed before planning
led with conviction, not ego
stayed steady under pressure
These questions, inspired by Alan Redpath’s reflections on Nehemiah and adapted for modern leadership, help surface formation beneath performance.
1. What is driving my leadership right now — clarity or image?
Am I making decisions to preserve credibility, influence, or control…
or am I acting from conviction, truth, and alignment?
Research consistently shows that leaders who operate from image management burn out faster and erode trust over time (Brown, Dare to Lead).
2. Am I trustworthy when no one is watching?
Can I be trusted with people’s time, energy, and confidence?
Am I consistent in private decisions, small commitments, and ethical gray areas?
High-performing organizations rise or fall on trust — and trust is built in the unseen, boring moments (Covey, The Speed of Trust).
3. What pressures are shaping my inner life right now?
Under stress, am I becoming more grounded — or more reactive?
More patient — or more irritable?
More prayerful — or more controlling?
Nehemiah faced opposition, urgency, and fatigue — yet remained anchored.
Stress doesn’t create character; it reveals and shapes it.
These questions don’t measure productivity.
They reveal formation.
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3️⃣ Becoming & your Word of the Year
This is why the Becoming section exists inside the Word of the Year template.
Before mapping out strategies, goals, or KPIs, you’re invited to pause and reflect on:
the leader you’re becoming
the inner posture you’re carrying into your work
the fruit you want this year to produce — not just the outcomes
Your Word of the Year becomes an orienting principle, not a slogan.
You can access the free Word of the Year Notion template here:
📘 A limited-edition printed guide is also available locally at Kayasah House for those who prefer slow reflection, pen in hand.
You don’t need to become someone new this year.
You’re invited to become more aligned — inwardly and outwardly.
Next in the series: SMART goals that actually serve your life.
Until then, pause long enough to ask:
What kind of leader is this season shaping me into?
I'm rooting for you,
Mel
P.S. — If you'd like to read more about the topic
The Bible
Romans 12:2 — inner transformation as primary work
Nehemiah 1–6 — leadership, prayer, resilience, and integrity
Galatians 5:22–23 — fruit as evidence of formation
Biblical Commentary
Enduring Word Bible Commentary — Book of Nehemiah (David Guzik)
Alan Redpath, Victorious Praying — reflections on Nehemiah’s inner life and leadership posture
Leadership & Psychology (Research-Based)
Goleman, D. (2004). “What Makes a Leader?” Harvard Business Review — emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead — courage, integrity, and values-based leadership
Covey, S. M. R. (2006). The Speed of Trust — trust as a measurable leadership asset
Deci & Ryan (2000). Self-Determination Theory — intrinsic motivation and values alignment
Formation & Habit
Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart — spiritual formation and inner life
James K. A. Smith, You Are What You Love — habits shaping identity over time
Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction — faithfulness beyond quick wins
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