Asking Better Questions Changed My Life and Business. Here's Why…
- Mel
- May 1
- 4 min read
Every kid is curious. But, my family definitely thought I was on another level. I specifically remember one instance where being “jouda” caught up to me.
We were all gathered at my grandparents’ house that day. It was hot, as always, so the adults decided to sit outside, while I played inside the house with my cousins. But as enticing as Barbie and “lago kache” could’ve been, I kept being drawn to the conversations my parents, my aunt and uncle and grandparents were having. Grown-ups seemed so much more interesting.
The kitchen window was directly next to the area where they all sat. And so, I got closer and started listening to them. They kept talking about this person they had given money to.
Then, I heard them say, “li manje kòb la”.
Taking this literally, I was puzzled and, quite frankly, very concerned for the poor man. How could he have eaten the money? How was that even possible?
Perhaps, I ended up asking my parents about it. Perhaps, I kept this to myself until years later. But, at some point, someone explained to me that the expression I had heard did not mean that the person had literally eaten cash but that they'd spent the money recklessly. And to this day, I still get laughed at for this.
The way I see it, curiosity is a gift for the person that holds it. That's what drives creativity. That's what leads to research and great discoveries. That's what allows us to enjoy the process of learning throughout our lifetime.
But, curiosity is also a gift that we can give others. In fact, I would argue that one of the best ways to invest in friendships and all sorts of professional, business or personal relationships with people is by gifting them our curiosity.
Curiosity is a gift we can give, but also a tool we can use.
In marketing and sales, one of the best ways to serve people and clients with the right kinds of services and products is to actually ask them what it is they need, to pay attention and listen to what they express.
Scripture talks about this as well:
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” - James 1:19
Quick example. When we started offering free Discovery Calls, I would show up to those calls and chat chat chat so much that, 30-45 minutes later, I had provided a free marketing consultation without having fully and thoroughly actually heard and understood the client's needs and wants.
What changed?
I attended different discovery calls from other service providers, looked at how they structured their calls, and realized the one thing I was missing: asking questions.
So, I shifted. 90% of the time is dedicated to asking questions, the 10% to answering them or providing clarity. And voilà! Meeting started and ended on time, the people I met with started to feel seen and heard, and the conversion rate increased.
What can you do to harness the power of curiosity?
1. In your lunch or dinner conversations...
Try starting by asking a question, then asking “why ___” as a follow-up. That will deepen the topic and intimacy of the conversation.
This three-letter word is one of the most powerful things we can ask someone because it often gets at motivation, at what's in the heart, at the core of things. When we ask “why”, not with an accusatory tone, but out of genuine curiosity, we hand the person we are talking to an invitation to go below surface and fluff, into more sacred spaces.
2. In your client meetings...
Ask good questions that show you are seeking to understand.
“Am I getting this correctly? ___”
“Is there a particular reason why you'd like ____?”
“Can you tell me more about your priorities for ____?”
3. On social media...
Use Stories to engage in conversation with your audience, asking them questions so you get to know them and their needs better.
You can use tools like the Question Box or Poll to do so. Ask open-ended questions, that someone can't answer with a yes or a no.
When using polls, DM the person with follow-up questions or invitations based on the answer they selected.
Gifting curiosity is about being intentional.
It's about choosing to discover more and more about the person, and to hopefully learn how best to care for that person. And, it is a practice that can very well change your business, your relationships and your life.
As always, I'm rooting for you!
Mel
Let's work together...
Comments